What summertime taught me
I didn't want the season — and with it, my carefree thinking — to end.
I’ve been out of school for nearly a decade now, but summertime still has a chokehold on my psyche. It’s a welcome grasping, a seasonal force that requires I tap into a more spontaneous and carefree attitude.
For me, the ideal summer is a mix of planned fun and unplanned frolicking from Memorial Day Weekend through September, when the first day of fall officially hits.
I took four trips to the beach this summer, and another to a secret and magical swimming hole (don’t ask me for the details). In June, I went to Nashville for my cousin’s bachelorette party, then Denver for the wedding in July. In August, I drove six hours to Virginia Beach, my dachshund in the back seat. We visited my high-school best friend for a whirlwind weekend of gossiping and shellfish. There was even, at my request, one line-dancing class before I headed back to Philly for some Leo/Virgo birthday celebrations.
As Labor Day Weekend approached, I didn’t feel ready for summer to end. Luckily, it didn’t have to: I had one final beach trip planned.
Long Beach Island had already turned sleepy for the season by the time I arrived on a Tuesday with my tennis racquets, beach chair, two library books, and journal in tow. The sun was warm and welcoming, competing for my attention with a near-constant breeze. The next day, I wore my fleecy gray sweatsuit. The next, I put on my new bikini top and ended up sunburnt on the right side of my neck. Later, I got sweaty playing tennis so I jumped into the pool. I got goosebumps from the chilly air, so I put on a crewneck sweatshirt before a frosé-drinking expedition.
For those four and a half days, I existed between the seasons.
On my last full day at the beach, I watched the ocean’s undulating waves while burrowing my toes into the sand, reflecting on everything I just told you here. I also thought about the oppressive humidity that stretched through June and July, the bittersweet goodbyes I said to friends headed on new adventures, and the confrontations with my past — in the form of journalism-industry news, a family reunion, and a long overdue yet unexpected run-in with my ex.
Then, I jotted down the lessons and realizations I had over the course of the past three months, memorializing another airy-feeling season.
No, it wasn’t the best of summers. Everywhere, it seemed, there was evidence of our world’s stifling realities. This summer, I realized, wasn’t an idyllic escape but a much-needed reminder: That I often feel my best when I’m able to relinquish some control and allow myself the space to just exist.
4 lessons I learned this summer, in no particular order
Like nature, life has seasons. They will come, they will pass, and they will come again, so stay present during the one happening now. You will be better for it.
Sometimes, feelings are a way to hold onto a fading connection or to reciprocate for a lost one. Closure can be admitting that to yourself.
You can’t outrun or out-think a feeling. You can either move through it, or face the consequences of avoiding it.
Taking a chance on yourself is where fear ends and fun really starts. If you desire something, it’s better to anxiously go for it than wait for the perfect conditions, which tend to never arrive. Building self-esteem in this way will set you free — from yourself, from societal expectations, and from wondering What if?
So, what now?
After allowing my mind to do some much-needed wandering this summer, I feel prepared to refocus.
Part of that is falling back into healthy routines and scheduled commitments, and part of that is making consistent time for curiosity, creativity, and stillness.
How are you preparing for fall?
Fuck, that’s good
✨ A brief list of media that fed me this month ✨
“Storycraft: The Complete Guide to Writing Narrative Nonfiction” by Jack Hart | For anyone who wants to work on their written story-telling skills, Hart’s book is chockfull of advice and real-life examples of turning true events into compelling narratives. Though Hart’s focus is on journalistic writing, I think his tips can be used for all kinds of stories.
Office-outfit checks by Julia Constanzo, via YouTube | As I figure out my working-girl style as a 31-year-old, this woman’s videos provide much-needed inspiration. Her style is chic, playful, full of texture, and attainable.
This clip of Merrill Reese commentating the Philadelphia Eagles’ Jordan Davis | Super Bowl repeat omen?